*MAFIA* Forums
- July 08, 2024, 02:08:45 AM
- Welcome, Guest
News:
Welcome back the Arcade! Play over 100+ games to get the high score and compete against other forum members.
http://www.mafiaowns.com/index.php?action=arcade;sa=list;sortby=a2z;
|
Show Posts
This section allows you to view all posts made by this member. Note that you can only see posts made in areas you currently have access to.
1756
Spam / Re: difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'
« on: August 13, 2008, 10:35:32 AM »Got anymore like this?
Just a few
A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited.
'I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from is employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.'
Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. 'I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived,' said the politician. 'In fact, I had the honor of being the first one to go to him in confession.'
MORAL: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE
1757
Spam / difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'
« on: August 13, 2008, 08:38:10 AM »
A young boy went to his father and asked, "Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
Dad thought a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use the money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would totally sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The son replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars. But realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
Dad thought a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"
The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use the money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university!"
The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would totally sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"
The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"
The boy pondered the answers for a few days and then went back to his dad.
His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?"
The son replied, "Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars. But realistically, we're living with two hookers and a homo."
1758
Flame / Re: Loaded banned me cause i himmed him for no reason
« on: August 12, 2008, 07:16:34 PM »update i got unbanend whn i cheack just now.You should ban yourself until you learn English.
1759
Flame / Re: No accepted like Mafia member !
« on: August 12, 2008, 12:34:28 PM »Donner?No, Boner.
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=NRL21_qcWKo
You know you can't look away so stop trying.
1761
Flame / Re: No accepted like Mafia member !
« on: August 12, 2008, 07:39:58 AM »iif u say "Vixen" in german (pronounce it like in english), it means "masturbation" (for male).
I'm fixen to go Vixen myself.
1763
Graphics / Re: Stick it .......
« on: August 11, 2008, 07:03:38 PM »
Reminds me of Super models fighting over a Twinkie.
1764
News / Re: 2008 Olympics
« on: August 11, 2008, 12:10:55 PM »http://results.Beijing2008.cn/WRM/ENG/INF/GL/95A/GL0000000.shtmlNo medal for arrogance or ignorance.
17th in the medal count running. I'll leave the comments up to others...
1765
Graphics / Re: avatar and sig
« on: August 11, 2008, 12:06:24 PM »If you can't take a "noob" comment, you are not long for here.Dibs on the next long noob er.
1766
Media / Re: Blackadder vs The French
« on: August 11, 2008, 07:46:33 AM »The Napoleon generals at Waterloo:
Lovely Uniform by the way. Classic...lol
1767
Join / Re: Joining
« on: August 10, 2008, 09:16:33 AM »Okay I will!I don't have a vote but in the past you have said some pretty stupid and annoying things in the forum (I am guilty of that too) but when I or others have smacked you down you do adjust your behavior. I still think you have a little maturing to do so we won't have to baby sit you. Plus it's not a good idea to show up in vent with RS tags on.
1768
Media / Re: OMG f'ing funny
« on: August 09, 2008, 08:33:35 AM »
Ah! I didn't know Hellraiser was related to President Lincoln. DOH! Now I fucked up...Now I fucked up...Now I fucked up.
1769
Media / Re: Caption This, Ver. 2.0
« on: August 09, 2008, 06:27:26 AM »2 in the pink, 1 in the stinkrmao
Portable hand saw safety is no joke.
1770
General / Re: ..just wrong on multiple levels
« on: August 08, 2008, 08:55:44 PM »
I think Bullwinkle wrote it.