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241
General / Re: Truth or Fiction?
« on: June 09, 2012, 09:21:07 PM »
Yes, there are multitudes of plants with intelligent and advanced life.
No the laws of physics have not been concurred and faster than light travel is not possible.
No the laws of physics have not been concurred and faster than light travel is not possible.
242
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 31, 2012, 11:13:36 AM »
Norman and Barry got married in California .
They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Norman 's Mom and
Dad's house for their first married night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Norman 's little brother, gets up and has his
breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom
if Norman and Barry are up yet. She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up
yet?' She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Norman and Barry up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'
He says: 'Last night Norman came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...
I gave him my airplane glue.'
They couldn't afford a honeymoon so they go back to Norman 's Mom and
Dad's house for their first married night together.
In the morning, Johnny, Norman 's little brother, gets up and has his
breakfast. As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom
if Norman and Barry are up yet. She replies, 'No'.
Johnny asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school.'
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, 'Are Norman and Barry up
yet?' She replies, 'No.'
Johnny says, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school '
After school, Johnny comes home and asks again,
'Are Norman and Barry up yet?'
His mom says, 'No.'
He asks, 'Do you know what I think?'
His mom replies, 'OK, now tell me what you think.'
He says: 'Last night Norman came to my room for the Vaseline and I think...
I gave him my airplane glue.'
243
Graphics / Re: New Banner
« on: May 28, 2012, 08:47:55 AM »I hate them all. I have a full size banner of MG spread eagle that would fit nice.
Not enough banner space to fit that giant clam.
244
News / Re: Naked Man Eats Another Naked Man's Face & Gets Shot
« on: May 27, 2012, 07:26:25 PM »
The dead man was dyslexic. The other dude told him to eat shit and die but he didn't quite understand.
246
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 23, 2012, 06:53:20 AM »
He got 0% in Exam
This Student obtained 0% on an exam, even though his answers were literally correct!
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
This Student obtained 0% on an exam, even though his answers were literally correct!
Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die?
* his last battle
Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
* at the bottom of the page
Q3. River Ravi flows in which state?
* liquid
Q4. What is the main reason for divorce?
* marriage
Q5. What is the main reason for failure?
* exams
Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast?
* Lunch & dinner
Q7. What looks like half an apple?
* The other half
Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?
* It will simply become wet
Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?
* No problem, he sleeps at night.
Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
* You will never find an elephant that has only one hand..
Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?
* Very large hands
Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?
* No time at all, the wall is already built.
Q13. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
*Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.
247
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 21, 2012, 08:18:09 AM »
A Redneck went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says,
"Congratulation s, your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are black."
Upon arriving he sits down, and the nurse says,
"Congratulation s, your wife has had quints, 5 big baby boys."
The Redneck says, "I'm not surprised, I have a penis on me like a chimney."
The nurse replies, "You might want to consider getting it cleaned, the babies are black."
249
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 14, 2012, 06:37:03 AM »
David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers:
# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...
# 1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways.
# 10 - Have to sit upright while driving.
# 9 - Pistol won't stay under front seat.
# 8 - Engine noise drowns out the rap music.
# 7 - Pit crew can't work on car while holding up pants.
# 6 - They keep trying to carjack Dale Earnhardt Jr.
# 5 - Police cars on track interfere with race.
# 4 - No passenger seat for the Ho.
# 3 - No Cadillacs approved for competition.
# 2 - When they crash their cars, they bail out & run.
AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR...
# 1 - They can't wear their helmets sideways.
250
News / Re: THE MAFIA SPY!!!!
« on: May 13, 2012, 05:49:31 PM »
If anybody needs me I'll be in the "Inner Circle" board room trading info with Mean Green and Bonehead.
251
Help / DVD edit software
« on: May 10, 2012, 09:00:01 PM »
Wife is looking to take a few 1 min segments from her dvd's. Any free DVD capture software out there?
252
Spam / Re: joke spam
« on: May 08, 2012, 07:30:15 AM »
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and
she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of
your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied: "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!", the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your
feet."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Johnny said: "Well, I walked into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night.
Mom had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm
coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
The Nun fainted!
she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven, which part of
your body goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied: "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in
front of you and God just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!", the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your
feet."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
"Now, Johnny, why do you think it would be your feet?"
Johnny said: "Well, I walked into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night.
Mom had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying: 'Oh God! I'm
coming!' If Dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
The Nun fainted!
253
Flame / Re: Meeester's Momma drama
« on: May 05, 2012, 06:32:58 AM »
Have you tried Misfit's middle aged hag stud service? I hear it helps with the stress of menopause!
254
General / Re: Happy Birthday ßlåkjáx
« on: May 05, 2012, 06:27:28 AM »
Happy B-Day Blakjax, hope you get a threesome with some collage hotties. 